December 13, 2004
By James Clarke
A big hand then for Janet Nicholson of Durban who has some (true) comments heard by airline passengers, mostly after their planes had made less than perfect landings:
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
Flight attendant: "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. In the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them home with our compliments."
From a flight attendant on Southwest Airlines after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault. It wasn't the pilot's fault. And it wasn't my fault. It was the asphalt."
Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo after an extremely hard landing, the flight attendant said: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate."
Another flight attendant's comment on a hard landing: "We ask you to please remain seated while Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
An airline pilot hammered his plane into the runway really hard. Upon landing the first officer had to stand at the door smiling and thanking passengers for flying with them. He found it hard looking passengers in the eye but nobody commented. Well, not until the last passenger, an elderly lady, said: "Do you mind if I ask you a question? Did we land, or were we shot down?"
After a dreadful landing in Phoenix, the flight attendant announced: "Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt. Once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
From http://www.thestar.co.za
Cheers,
White Cap
