Hi,
herzlich gelacht habe ich über diese "Gemme", die ich in einem anderen, (spanischsprechendem Forum) fand.
guckst du hier 
Diese Originalversion in Spanisch wollte ich wirklich nicht selber übersetzen, da fehlt mir die Zeit..also habe ich gegoogelt und bin danach vor Lachen vom Stuhl geplumst.
Dem Verständnis kommt es näher, wenn das im Original "todo por el pasagero" mit "everything FOR you" anstatt wie von google mit "everything by you" übersetzt wird.
Das Original ist lustig, aber google hat den Vogel abgeschossen ....have fun:
(Ãœbersetzung google, quelle oben)
By Leonardo Moledo
When I decided to make that trip "low cost" (low cost), I approached the travel agency that offered it, and they said immediately to me that the manager of the company wanted to speak with me. I felt like well treaty incredibly; it had never happened to me before. Neither the manager of Airlines, nor the one of Lufthansa, nor the one of Iberia never bothered themselves in speaking with me. I am sure that not even they know the name of the passengers. However, that company "Everything by you" you offered a hypercustomized attention. - It watches - the manager of the company said to me -. the trips "low cost" offer all the imaginable advantages, beginning by the price, that does not arrive nor at the fourth part of the current prices; and we sell on credit and long term with the simple requirement that their heirs commit themselves to settle the debt. But since they fell all those airplanes we are being victims of a shameful campaign of defamation at international level - as if the price of the passages mattered to the eyes of the Gentleman - and in France and the United States already they even requested that it was placed to us in "black lists", like at the blackest times of the macartismo... - What horror! - I said -. He would be frightful. - For that reason - the manager said to me - we are organizing, with the new passengers, motivacionales groups, once and for all to sweep those impure defamations motorized by a stateless journalism, ally of the companies of high cost. Thus he was as on the following day I were in one nourished meeting, listening the story of a passenger of "Everything by you": - I want to tell my trip them - the ex- passenger said so that they include/understand that nothing must fear, and be prepared to only enjoy. - To begin, the airplane did not leave an airport - those horrible "nonplaces" of Pierre Auger -, but of an open of terrain, that us reconecta with the nature and allows to smell the Earth perfume and the grass, which saves that infuriates rate of airport. The truth, I must say, did not bother to me that the airplane went to helix; although it called the attention to me that lacked one; but in a trip low cost cannot be tried that they are all the helices, no? And immediately an engineer of the company explained to me that with two helices of a side and one of the other he flies perfectly well, and even with less noise. When raising the airplane, the stewardesses instead of saying that "welcome" ridiculous situation with McDonald's smile, said "good bye" and recited next the famous verse of the Dante: "Lasciate ogne speranza voi ch'intrate", with deep voice of contralto. When, dÃganme you, entered an airplane accompanied by excelso piece by universal Literature? And instead of that idiot functional music, Mozart. Dante and Mozart... a cultural luxury. It is not for anyone. - What of Mozart? - a fat person asked. - the Tuba mirum spargens sonum, of Requiem K. 626, in the version of Furtwängler. - Ah... - Excellent version - said to the fat person -.. - To enter the airplane is an aesthetic experience, truely, since everything is artisan, from the seats to the adjustment of the nuts, which allows that the plates of the cabin move with a delicious balance. Of the ceiling they hung handles for which unemployed travel; there were six pairs of handles by row, the airplane goes finessed in some occasions, which sample that people truely adore east type of trips. I was located in my seat, and there I could see that a split of the window was repaired with tape scotch, but so gracefully and exquisitely that was a pleasure to contemplate it. Immediately the maneuver of the takeoff began, that was quite slow by the way, since it is armed without neglecting no detail, as it corresponds to a company whose name is "Everything by you". First, the extremaunción passed a priest giving them to all the passengers. - It seems a little authoritarian - somebody said. - But they did not force anybody, nothing of that, everything was of most ecumenical and respectful. In the pocket that was in front of each seat there was a unit of the Talmud and the Corán. Also a pamphlet with the scientific analysis of the phenomenon of the free fall, in which an amiable biography of Galileo could be read and the law of fall of the bodies (and the time that takes to fall from the ten thousand meters with the formula s=1/2 to t2, that it is of 44.72 seconds) and next an analysis of the principle of equivalence of Einstein, in which the identity between a gravitational field and an accelerated movement settles down. Thus, the free fall is equivalent exactly to the total absence of gravity, interesting experience if there are them. In the baths a confesionario had been improvised, although some were confessed aloud and in front of everybody. They counted until the last one of his sins, and I can assure to them that he was flavorful, would give, truely, to write a novel; it had never imagined the possibilities incredible that it offers the reality. - and later? - Later, the stewardess distributed a ampollita of poison each one. "she is not for alarming them - she said -, she is only by the doubts", immediately afterwards the crew bailed out precipitadamente, that began to move. - and then? - the fat person asked, who was excited. - Then me recosté and I began to doze... But just when it was going to finish saying the phrase heard "pfzzz", catch oned the lights, disappeared the greenish light that had crowned the table from the beginning of the session and the medium rose furious. - we had made contact with enemy perfect, the spirit was of the plus parlanchÃn and just now the fuses jump! - it shouted the manager to him. This it tried to apologize, but anyway one did not worry too much when it saw that all the assistants, fat person including, hurried to buy the passages. But I no. The truth, had my doubts. To begin, the version of the Requiem by Furtwängler I do not like anything. And secondly, to me it had been convinced that that steep end had to that was a spiritualist session of low cost.
...keep to the code.
juliet(t)
